Networking

1. Stop treating networking like self promotion

The biggest mistake women make is thinking networking means pitching themselves. Effective networking is about curiosity and pattern building, not performance.

The goal is not to impress someone in one interaction. The goal is to become familiar, trusted, and remembered over time.

If you leave someone feeling heard and respected, you did it right.

2. Shift from “Who can help me?” to “Who should I learn from?”

People can feel desperation instantly, even when it is polite.

The strongest networking question is
“How did you get here?”

This reframes the interaction as learning, not asking. It removes pressure from both sides and creates a natural opening for advice, insight, and future connection.

Help often follows organically when curiosity comes first.

3. Network horizontally, not just upward

Women are often taught to chase senior leaders only. This is a mistake.

Your peers and near peers are the people who
• Share job leads first
• Refer you internally
• Grow into power alongside you

Strong networks are built sideways, not vertically.

Some of the most powerful connections are people one or two steps ahead of you.

4. Consistency beats intensity

Networking does not require big events, conferences, or constant outreach.

One thoughtful message per week is enough.

A quick note like
“I saw this and thought of our conversation”
or
“I wanted to say I appreciated your insight on X”

builds far more trust than sporadic high effort outreach.

Consistency is what makes you visible without being loud.

5. Use warm entry points whenever possible

Cold outreach works sometimes, but warm entry points work better and feel safer.

Warm entry points include
• Mutual connections
• Shared communities or groups
• Same city or region
• Same industry transition
• Same event or workshop

Name the shared context clearly. It reduces friction and increases response rates.

6. Ask for perspective, not favors

This is critical.

Instead of asking
“Can you help me get a job?”

Ask
“What would you focus on if you were in my position?”

Advice is easier to give than opportunity, and advice often leads to opportunity.

7. Keep the relationship alive after the first touch

Most networking fails after the first interaction.

Follow up matters more than the meeting itself.

A simple follow up that references something specific they said signals respect and attention. That is what makes people remember you.

Networking is maintenance, not a one time action.

8. Choose fewer relationships and go deeper

You do not need dozens of contacts.

You need a small circle of people who know your goals, your strengths, and your reality.

Depth creates advocacy. Volume creates noise.

9. Let go of likability pressure

Women are often socialized to be pleasant, agreeable, and grateful.

You are allowed to
• Take up space
• Ask direct questions
• Set boundaries
• Say no

Professional respect lasts longer than surface likability.

10. Redefine success

Networking success is not
“How many people did I meet?”

It is
“Who would recognize my name in six months?”

If someone thinks of you when an opportunity comes up, your networking worked.